Do you enjoy being Autistic?

Recently this question came up on Quora, I’ll put a link at the end so you can check it out, but I felt compelled to respond, and to express what I felt towards this question. After writing it I also realized that I care about the communication that I was writing in a way that I didn’t expect to, so I decided it was worth more than just a Quora post. Here is my response to that question.

I didn’t, and truth be told I never thought I would. When writing this in the future I might not, but today? Yes I do, because I know that my Autism, and the gift that came along with it helped me survive, and I can survive anything today. I have the reasoning and the mental fortitude today to do and be anything I want to be, today.

That will be the truth, until I fall asleep tonight, why? Because I am autistic and I am emotionally triggered by positive events that have happened today.

I did not feel this way yesterday, yesterday I had to remember who I was after having an autistic breakdown that led me to be so angry I had to throw toothpaste to be able to communicate properly. I hated my autism yesterday, for a large portion of the day. I wanted to die because it is abuse to others for the to be unable to help me emotionally deal with the problems, it creates an environment of eggshells that causes more problems than whatever sets me off.

Yet it was worse six months prior, I was worse, I couldn’t move past anything at one point in my life and we are slowly removing medications from my regiment. This is a good thing, because I am super responsive, and hyper self aware. All of these things are good things, and maybe someday with the assistance that I have received from my girlfriend I will like my autism more days than I dislike like it, but for now, today, I like my autism. We shall see what happens tomorrow.”

You can find the other responses here.

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