Have you ever had too much to say and not enough time to put it into the words? Yeah that’s me on a daily basis. I have so much to say yet nothing comes out because I cannot do anything but be paralyzed with fear over the complexity of my ideas. Take today for instance, Is at in class and we were talking about the American Revolution, or as it’s called in the world today the American War for Independence, because nothing revolutionary happened during this time right? That was the information was given to the class that I take part in.
When pressed for information about the lass most of the students were unable to communicate much, and the teacher decided to offend the high school students, so I decided as I often do to make a comment that was too profound to be explained in a few moments, and instead take a concept that was pivotal to the understanding behind the war. I said, “America didn’t really win the war, they just survived long enough for Britain to lose it”. In that moment I got stared at my by teacher, then she explained that I have grand notions but no information to back them up.
Some of you reading this already see the bolder that I’m about to swing with, but I tried to be nice and attempt to understand her point of view, which was impossible as her excuse for not allowing me to explain myself was that this course is a surveyor course of global history so we don’t get into why Britain lost the American War for Independence. This is a cop out, before you question it as being a legitimate excuse just know that it is not, it’s actually so far into the realm of wrong that I call her out on it regularly only to be met with, “Well that’s how things are and the textbook has to be studied like this”. While not being true, this is also an excuse for poor leadership in a class. How can you as a teacher hold yourself to this standard and expect any form of excellence in your students? I’ll give you a hint, you cannot.
I have always brought myself down to this level of communication much like I have attempted to bring my level of functioning in line with the rest of society my entire life. This is just another form of the save caveat that created the problem I have with my teacher, so in that respect I must decide why I am so angry if I wish to give myself the same standard by which to live by. In those moments I blank and end up no longer communicating at all anymore, and suddenly the world spins out of control and I’m not expressing my idea’s.
I changed that by deciding to function heavily on the impulsive desire to talk, that has changed a heavy part of my life very recently.
That decision will be explained in the future. For now, thank you for reading this. If you have found any impact with these statements, please share them in any way you can. We have a Facebook group that has been kicked off. You can find it here https://www.facebook.com/Everdaysstruggle/
Remember you are not your demons, I am not my demons. If you have the desire to change you can change. This moment in time is temporary, just look within yourself for the tools you need to make it better for you.